Emotions in the Workplace: Whether you talk about them or not, they’re there
There’s a perception that discussing emotions at work is unprofessional. Many of us have received messages expressing that emotions are inappropriate in workplace, are best compartmentalized, and to “leave that at home” rather than bringing emotions to the office. On top of that, emotions can sometimes feel very personal, too personal to discuss with coworkers. As a result, many people go to work and simply pretend that feelings do not exist.
However, whether they are acknowledged or not, emotions are present in the workplace. There are countless ways that emotions affect our performance at work, some for the better and some for the worse. They affect the way that we make decisions, how we learn, and how creative we are, not even to mention how they affect how we communicate and collaborate with others. Ignoring emotions does not minimize their effects on how we work–in fact, the opposite is often true.
Emotions and Decision-Making
While we like to think of ourselves as purely rational decision-makers, our emotions can influence our decision-making in some profound ways:
Anger is associated with more risky decision-making,
Happy decision-makers tend to be overly optimistic and are less likely to focus on gathering information when making a decision, and
Sadness might make someone more impatient and focused on the short-term.
If we’re ignoring our emotional state when making decisions, we’re likely leaving out relevant data that could be used to make better quality decisions.
Emotions and Learning
There’s also evidence that stress can be an inhibitor to learning. If employees at your company are stressed out, they aren’t as likely to be able learn new things and grow professionally. If your company is investing in training for an overworked employee base, the employees likely won’t be able to retain the information from the training and make behavioral changes, and the return on investment could be lower than expected.
Emotions and Creativity
Even if we could tamper down our emotions in the workplace, it’s not necessarily desirable. There’s some evidence that allowing oneself to experience strong emotions, whether they’re positive or negative, is associated with greater creativity, as is the tendency to experience multiple, contradictory emotions at the same time. For companies focusing on innovation, a stoic culture isn’t likely to helpful.
Clearly, there is no such thing as a purely rational decision or state of mind – emotion plays a role in all of these situations. If we avoid acknowledging and talking about our feelings at work, we create permanent blind spots for ourselves, and make it very difficult for us to do our best work.
So how can we talk about and manage emotions in a professional and productive manner? Here’s four tactics to try:
Pulling back. What are the things that really push your buttons? When negative emotions run high, it can be easy to react without thinking. In these times, it’s critical to “pull back” and put some distance between the stimulus and your reaction. It’s like stepping outside of yourself and becoming an observer. To pull back, take a pause and do an internal inventory of your feelings and any physiological sensations (Are you sweating? Is there a lump in your throat?). Next, focus your attention on the situation or the other person. Pulling back can happen in a matter of seconds, but can be the difference between responding to a tough situation in a measured way or in an overly emotional way.
Recognize that feelings on their own aren’t good or bad. When talking about emotions, it’s critical to do so while withhold judgment. A person isn’t wrong or right to feel a certain way. No one likes to be judged, and if we assign a moral judgment to an emotion, we’re likely to acknowledge and talk about them less in the future.
Labeling the emotion. Whether you’re the one feeling strong emotions or someone else, simply naming the emotion can take away a lot of it’s power. It’s surprising how disarming it can be to say to someone who is yelling, “it seems like you’re really angry right now.” Labeling the emotion puts you in control rather than the emotion, and allows the strong emotion to pass more quickly.
Get some perspective. Strong emotions can make things seem insurmountable in the moment. When this happens, think about a time before when you felt the same strong emotion. How did things turn out? Chances are, things eventually worked themselves out in some way, and reminding yourself (or others) of this can help put things in perspective.