Last week I was invited to speak to a group about using storytelling for goal-setting and journaling. It was a fun change of pace for me because I typically talk about storytelling in organizational settings. I wanted to give the group a broad overview of why storytelling can be so useful as a tool for personal reflection and growth, as well as with other people. Below is a summary of what I shared.

Five important things to know about storytelling:

1. There is power in narrative

There is a reason we see people struggle to control the “power of the pen.” One recent example is the media discussion around the incident between boys from Covington Catholic High School, a group of Hebrew Israelites, and Omaha Nation elder Nathan Phillips in January 2019. The significance of the event in public conversation has ballooned, as the various “what REALLY happened was…” interpretations of the event are both a reflection and an assertion of values on the part of the speaker.

Within oneself, narrative can be a similarly powerful tool. Sharing personal stories are a self-affirming act: I am worthy of documentation and reflection. When recounting a personal story (either to yourself through an activity such as journaling or to another person), you play two roles: the narrator and the protagonist. This creates psychological distance that allows you to observe, reflect and provide commentary on yourself. The stories you tell yourself about yourself are a major part of your identity. Much like people argue over the correct interpretation of the Covington incident to assert their own values, recounting your own stories is an assertion of your identity.

2. Stories are memorable

Research suggests that people remember stories at a much higher rate than they remember facts. We may not remember much from lectures, PowerPoint presentations, or memos that we’ve consumed in the last year, but many of us remember stories from our childhood.

Your brain cannot accept information as-is. That is, it must organize or process it in some way. According to schema theory, your brain builds complex mental models called schema. Rich stories containing metaphors, imagery, themes, and symbolism prompt our brains to involve many different schema in a way that simpler forms of information do not.

Because of this, stories are an incredible teaching tool for oneself and others. They relay much more than just factual information, such as emotions and values.

3. Stories are bonding

You may have noticed that sharing stories helps us bond and relate to one another. Something called neural coupling helps explain this storytelling phenomenon.

When we vividly recount an experience to another person, the same parts of their brain “light up” as if they were actually experiencing the story. You may have experienced this if you have ever cried while reading a book or watching a movie! Neurologically, your brain can hardy tell the difference between a real experience and a story.

Storytelling builds empathy between the speaker and the audience. It deepens the connection between people. Sharing a story is like taking a personal experience and planting it in someone else’s brain.

 4. Stories fill the vacuum created by lack of experience

Both stories and experiences inform our perspective, and how we view the world. When we lack experience, stories tend to take over.

The stories you tell yourself (a.k.a. the little voice inside your head that talks to you all day long) have a huge impact on how you view the world. If you’ve ever “psyched yourself out” prior to an event only to realize it wasn’t as bad as you predicted, you’ve experienced the power of an inaccurate story influencing your perspective.

In this way, stories can be like self-fulfilling prophesies. Of course, the lesson here is that we must be careful what stories we tell ourselves and others.

 5. Stories are dynamic

You’ve probably heard the saying “you can’t step in the same river twice.” It’s the same with storytelling: you can’t tell the same story twice. Even if you attempt to tell the same story twice, the audience could be different, the purpose could be different, the context is different, and the experience is different.

We see the re-interpretation of national events as history progresses. For example, the movement of white settlers across the United States in the 1800’s, once referred to as “Manifest Destiny,” is now widely interpreted as a story of brutal mistreatment, displacement, and genocide of Native American peoples.

As we mature and age, we consider old stories in a new light. We all have done bad things or have had bad things happen to us. However, some research indicates that people who incorporate these negative experiences into redemption stories tend to have higher levels of happiness and well-being. Retelling a story about defeat as one of atonement or recovery has profound impact.

The fact is, we all are involved in storytelling. We share small stories like “guess what happened to me yesterday…” to big stories like “here’s why I’m here…” or “who I am.” It’s one the most primal ways of communicating.